I was talking to a friend the other day and she told me that she understood what I was going through. I ask her to share her experience with me and to my surprise she told me that she had watched a friend go through what I'm going through. She added "It'll all work out just fine."
I watched 50 go by a number of years ago. When I was in my frustrating youth - 20's and 30's - I really thought that my knowledge would serve me just as well as experience. Boy was I wrong! The old saying "Don't judge anyone until you have walked in their shoes" comes to mind.
You just cannot replace experience with any amount of knowledge. Theory is wonderful, but it is not fact. You cannot undo a heartbreak unless you have had a big one yourself. Why? Because theory tells you the you will get over it. While Experience has shown you that it will take quite a while until you can pick yourself up and move on. It's the depth of your love for that person that can never be replaced no matter how many acquaintances you try on. If it's not there - it is not there.
The same goes for all life's lessons as wells as all relationships you might enter. Each one is unique and precious. No knowledge will replace the real experience. We can lean on the past but we need to stay vulnerable to the now and the future. Love is all there is!
What does your Knowledgetell you? What does your Experience tell you?
Your Life - Your Rules!
Namaste Speedo
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Short Term Memory
How long is your memory? Really!
Too long causes problems - I know. I have had t ability to hold on to memories - resentments - for way too long. They, so I thought, use to serve me well. I wouldn't allow 'that' to happen again or allow myself to taken advantage of by the same person or group.
What would happen to me if I became instilled with a short-term memory?
This really is an important question to explore. What I discovered was I became free to live my life instead of always holding onto 'wrongs' that I allowed to happen to me. Freedom to become vulnerable to life and all or its' surprises. What a gift!
Today I could no longer live with a long-term memory full of resentment, grudges, shuns. It would destroy the man that I have worked so hard to become.
How's your memory? What is it filled with? Is it stifling your outlook on today and the future?
Your Life - Your Rules!
Namaste Speedo
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Are You Overwhelmed?????
From time to time everyone gets overwhelmed. Have you figured out why? It turns out to be common scense after you figure out what the real cause is.
Most of us have a task list of "to do's" - written or mental - that we do not prioritize. When we attempt to do everything on the list we get burn out, tired or frustrated.
So the secret is to learn how to prioritize our list. Most of us do not have a system to prioritize. Without a system we randomly try to check off our list.
Here's a solution system to prioritizing your list.
1. List the projects you want to complete.
2. Rank the projects by ROI and RISK or MOST IMPORTANT to LEAST IMPORTANT.
In business - how much $$$ is each one worth? What is the probability of success?
In your personal life - have-to's and can put-off to another day.
Most of us have a task list of "to do's" - written or mental - that we do not prioritize. When we attempt to do everything on the list we get burn out, tired or frustrated.
So the secret is to learn how to prioritize our list. Most of us do not have a system to prioritize. Without a system we randomly try to check off our list.
Here's a solution system to prioritizing your list.
1. List the projects you want to complete.
2. Rank the projects by ROI and RISK or MOST IMPORTANT to LEAST IMPORTANT.
In business - how much $$$ is each one worth? What is the probability of success?
In your personal life - have-to's and can put-off to another day.
"Timebox" your tasks. How much time should it take you to complete any given task? You will know just by looking at the list. For longer more involved tasks, be sure to give yourself enough time to complete them. Don't skimp - this is the reason that you become overwhelmed in the first place. Be honest with yourself. For big projects, try to give yourself a minimum of 2 weeks to a month. This will allow you to be distracted by interruptions that do crop up in our busy lives without feeling added pressure.
If you have a long term goal, try to spend 'x' hours a day or week on reaching that goal. Most goals are not meant to be accomplished in an hour or a day. They are something that we are striving to gain or become. Give yourself enough time. This is very important to remember.
What does your list look like? Some people organize 'sticky notes' on the refrigerator or wall. Reorganizing them as they are completed. This is kind of a liquid task listing.
Your Life - Your Rules!
Namaste Speedo
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Days of Whine and Focus?
I read a friend's blog (blakesnyder.com - the link is listed) now and then to keep up with my fellows in the screenwriting community. From time to time I skim through the archives to see what I've missed. My inspiration for today's blog came from Blake's January blog "What's your focus."
What's your focus is an important question today. We all need to check our focus daily. Otherwise we, I, get lost in all the "issues" that we get bombarded with through news, work, kids, neighbors - really everything that surrounds us on a daily basis.
It is so easy to become a "whiner" and a victim. I have to remember that I am responsible for my life and the decisions that I make. I need to make conscious appraisals and decisions based on facts. I need to be honest with what I see coming down the road and adjust my "life's budget" accordingly. If I do not - I will be lost in deluded thoughts and excuses asking "what just happened?" I cannot afford to live my life that way.
So - the most important issue that we can focus on is our family. We are responsible for keeping our family - those living under our roof - safe and secure. Our friends and adult children are responsible for their families too.
Next, if we are self-employed, we need to focus on what is important - that is to keep our doors open. We have to work smart. We need to learn to be prudent in all our decisions. If we are a small business with employees, we have hard choices to make. We cannot live in the delusion that next week will magically be better. Customers are slow to pay in times like this. You still have hard fixed costs to cover and we still need to look out for our families - #1. We cannot take security and food out of our families mouths to save our employee's families. It's a tough call, but they are responsible for the security of their families by being good stewards in their financial world. And - deep down inside they understand this.
Next, if we work for someone as their employee, we have to become realistic to what is going on. I choose to become proactive and ask how secure they are? What do they predict the future holds for them. Then, armed with that knowledge, I take it home and talk to my family about what's going on. It does no one any good to pretend that everything is just fine. All this does is build resentment and stress. This is not being an alarmist
If I focus on becoming a professional in my life. If I can be completely honest with my family. We have a wonderful opportunity to ride this adventure with grace together.
Being a professional - I must allow my family members to be scared and walk through their fears with them. Together and only together can we love and work as a complete family unit.
Where's your focus today? It takes courage to become the professional in your life.
Your Life - Your Rules!
Namaste Speedo
What's your focus is an important question today. We all need to check our focus daily. Otherwise we, I, get lost in all the "issues" that we get bombarded with through news, work, kids, neighbors - really everything that surrounds us on a daily basis.
It is so easy to become a "whiner" and a victim. I have to remember that I am responsible for my life and the decisions that I make. I need to make conscious appraisals and decisions based on facts. I need to be honest with what I see coming down the road and adjust my "life's budget" accordingly. If I do not - I will be lost in deluded thoughts and excuses asking "what just happened?" I cannot afford to live my life that way.
So - the most important issue that we can focus on is our family. We are responsible for keeping our family - those living under our roof - safe and secure. Our friends and adult children are responsible for their families too.
Next, if we are self-employed, we need to focus on what is important - that is to keep our doors open. We have to work smart. We need to learn to be prudent in all our decisions. If we are a small business with employees, we have hard choices to make. We cannot live in the delusion that next week will magically be better. Customers are slow to pay in times like this. You still have hard fixed costs to cover and we still need to look out for our families - #1. We cannot take security and food out of our families mouths to save our employee's families. It's a tough call, but they are responsible for the security of their families by being good stewards in their financial world. And - deep down inside they understand this.
Next, if we work for someone as their employee, we have to become realistic to what is going on. I choose to become proactive and ask how secure they are? What do they predict the future holds for them. Then, armed with that knowledge, I take it home and talk to my family about what's going on. It does no one any good to pretend that everything is just fine. All this does is build resentment and stress. This is not being an alarmist
If I focus on becoming a professional in my life. If I can be completely honest with my family. We have a wonderful opportunity to ride this adventure with grace together.
Being a professional - I must allow my family members to be scared and walk through their fears with them. Together and only together can we love and work as a complete family unit.
Where's your focus today? It takes courage to become the professional in your life.
Your Life - Your Rules!
Namaste Speedo
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Seeing Clarity
"Do you know what clarity is Speedo? Don't answer. . . . I'll tell you. . . . It's when the obvious becomes apparent!".
This confrontation happened about 20 years ago - and it still resonates today. Fritz was an ex-jockey raised in the brownstone neighborhoods of Chicago. Fritz never minced words.
There are times in my life when I get lost in a situation. I make all sorts of excuses for the reason I find myself struggling for an answer. What I have lost really is my ability to stand back and take an observer's look in order to assess what is really going on. I have lost my ability to gain clarity.
I know that I am not the only one to struggle with this. It doesn't matter if it involves financial, relationships, work - whatever. We all loose clarity at times. No one has the right answers all the time.
This is when I need a mentor or friend that I trust to bounce this off of. He or she is able to take a step back, uninvolved and tell me what they see. It really is a visual thing. They see me struggling and how it is effecting my life. If I am able to be honest, they are able to see the events that lead up to my crisis. They are able to see the actions I must take in order for me to regain my Emotional Sobriety. Now it's up to me to find the courage to take the actions.
People have written about the use of mentors ever since man began to walk up-right - and maybe before. 12 step programs rely heavily on the use of sponsorship in their recovery programs.
Do you have a mentor or sponsor to bounce things off? It works!
Your Life - Your Rules!
Namaste Speedo
This confrontation happened about 20 years ago - and it still resonates today. Fritz was an ex-jockey raised in the brownstone neighborhoods of Chicago. Fritz never minced words.
There are times in my life when I get lost in a situation. I make all sorts of excuses for the reason I find myself struggling for an answer. What I have lost really is my ability to stand back and take an observer's look in order to assess what is really going on. I have lost my ability to gain clarity.
I know that I am not the only one to struggle with this. It doesn't matter if it involves financial, relationships, work - whatever. We all loose clarity at times. No one has the right answers all the time.
This is when I need a mentor or friend that I trust to bounce this off of. He or she is able to take a step back, uninvolved and tell me what they see. It really is a visual thing. They see me struggling and how it is effecting my life. If I am able to be honest, they are able to see the events that lead up to my crisis. They are able to see the actions I must take in order for me to regain my Emotional Sobriety. Now it's up to me to find the courage to take the actions.
People have written about the use of mentors ever since man began to walk up-right - and maybe before. 12 step programs rely heavily on the use of sponsorship in their recovery programs.
Do you have a mentor or sponsor to bounce things off? It works!
Your Life - Your Rules!
Namaste Speedo
The Key to Happiness
I never use to ask for what I wanted. I expected people to act like I did. I would observe and respond with the appropriate gift, kind deed, project the right thing to do for them - read their minds or look into my crystal ball. All this brought me was frustration - wondering why nobody seemed to be able to read my mind. So it had to lead to my resenting friends, parents, sibling, etc.
What happened? I had to learn to forgive people for not reading my mind. I had to take a risk and ask for what I wanted in life, and that took courage and a lot of practice. I am still a little uncomfortable asking - but I practice daily.
The next thing I had to change in my life was to learn to ask people what they wanted in their life from me. I could no longer assume anything - I took this to the extreme at first, but again with practice I became more comfortable.
Am amazing thing happened to me - I became less judgemental and kinder to others. Now, I'm not trying to present my transformation is anywhere near perfect, but there has been a lot of progress.
The hardest place to practice this is with loved-ones, long-time friends and family. All I can say is I have built up a number of habits with these people and I have to remain conscience when I am around them. Most of the time my sarcasm is the weapon that I throw out attempting to be funny. It never works - I usually have to make an amends immediately and hope for some forgiveness.
What I have discovered is forgiveness begins first at home - then I can take it out into the streets. I use to tell people that I am not being judgemental - just a keen observer. What a crock! All I was doing was dressing judgements in a disguise - it gave me an excuse to be critical of everyone. I had to learn to appreciate the path that strangers, friends, loved-ones and family were on.
Today I try to walk in forgiveness and to be non-judgemental to everyone I meet. It's a struggle at times - but the reward is serenity and emotional sobriety. It allows me to create better relationships wherever I go. I compromise my ego and celebrate my fellows I meet as our paths cross.
Maybe our paths will cross. Forgiveness is my key to happiness.
Happiness is the result of practice.
Your Life - Your Rules!
Namaste Speedo
What happened? I had to learn to forgive people for not reading my mind. I had to take a risk and ask for what I wanted in life, and that took courage and a lot of practice. I am still a little uncomfortable asking - but I practice daily.
The next thing I had to change in my life was to learn to ask people what they wanted in their life from me. I could no longer assume anything - I took this to the extreme at first, but again with practice I became more comfortable.
Am amazing thing happened to me - I became less judgemental and kinder to others. Now, I'm not trying to present my transformation is anywhere near perfect, but there has been a lot of progress.
The hardest place to practice this is with loved-ones, long-time friends and family. All I can say is I have built up a number of habits with these people and I have to remain conscience when I am around them. Most of the time my sarcasm is the weapon that I throw out attempting to be funny. It never works - I usually have to make an amends immediately and hope for some forgiveness.
What I have discovered is forgiveness begins first at home - then I can take it out into the streets. I use to tell people that I am not being judgemental - just a keen observer. What a crock! All I was doing was dressing judgements in a disguise - it gave me an excuse to be critical of everyone. I had to learn to appreciate the path that strangers, friends, loved-ones and family were on.
Today I try to walk in forgiveness and to be non-judgemental to everyone I meet. It's a struggle at times - but the reward is serenity and emotional sobriety. It allows me to create better relationships wherever I go. I compromise my ego and celebrate my fellows I meet as our paths cross.
Maybe our paths will cross. Forgiveness is my key to happiness.
Happiness is the result of practice.
Your Life - Your Rules!
Namaste Speedo
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Life is Uncertain
Life is fleeting. Uncertain.
Now that being said - I want to ask you a question: Do you act on your insecurities? Do you take risks to better your life? Do you Chase Your Potential and Dreams?
I had to learn to overcome my fears to live the life that I want. I am not completely there yet, but I am a whole lot closer to achieving my dreams than before. What do I have to loose?
I use to try something half-heartily and when I failed - I thought that it wasn't meant to be. I thought that I wasn't good enough to achieve my goal. I'd loose my focus and fear would raise its ugly head breathing smoke to disguise my successes. I'd loose my patience with my progress, get frustrated and look for something else to quince my desires. Not usually to best course for success.
I had to find a way to quit my limiting beliefs and go for the gusto. In these uncertain times we, I, really need to get rid of my limiting beliefs. None of us can afford to sabotage ourselves. But how do we Stop?
I had to find the courage to "Keep Swimming" as they said in Finding Nemo. Another saying is "Keep on Truckin" or "Act as If" - I'm sure that you can find a mantra that fits your personality. In short, I need to be vigilant in my efforts to succeed.
We live in financially stressful times. This cannot be ignored. I need to be prudent and become a good steward of my money. Also, I need to be a good steward of my time and efforts. I have taken a hard assessment of my time management skills. I discovered that I needed to make some changes. These are in the process.
I have begun to demand more of myself. Maximum effort. Failure is not an option. It doesn't mean that it won't occur - It just means that I focus on the rewards of success. It is the fuel that drives my efforts.
Life may be too short - but it is my life and I need to make the most of the time that I have. I choose to spend more time with those I love. Share what I have with others. Continue to become a positive influence in the lives of the people I meet. And Chase My Dreams.
What are you doing today to sweeten your life? Are you making the most of what you have? Your dreams are within reach - they're your dreams!
Your Life - Your Rules!
Namaste Speedo
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