Honor Life

I have been going through a number  of changes in my life recently. What I have learned walking my path is I have to be vigilant in my approach to friends and strangers a like. 

When circumstances affect my life style - relationship break-up or new, work changes - loosing or acquiring, health issues, personal loss - I have to remain optimistic and vulnerable to life and remain an observer to new opportunities placed in front of me. 

Life is a constant change from this to that. Whether it's a good change or bad is up to the amount of resistance to change that envelops me. When I release my resistance I become willing to welcome a new life full of excitement and surprise my spirit shines and I meet your spirit.

Today I choose to let go of all my resistance that has been blocking my life. I release it and shout to the heavens "Next". 

How do you choose to honor life today? Resistance is always followed by release - only we know how long it will take. I am responsible for my life and choices I make.

Your Life - Your Rules!

Namaste Speedo

Old Friends

This morning I listened to a gal-friend tell me about a girlfriend that she has had for over thirty years and the struggles she's having watching her path in life. She told me that it breaks her heart to hear the denial and excuses that her friend gives for her destructive actions.

I ask her why does she choose to have her remain a close friend in her life? Her answer was the same answer that we give for keeping 'old friends' close to us - Loyalty to her friend.

I thought of what Erick Butterworth said (I paraphrase) - "The greatest harm we can do to ourselves or others is to keep them in our lives too long. We do not know when we meet someone whether they should remain in our lives 5 minutes or 50 years". When we hang on to people too long - we inhibit the wonderful experience of having some new soul walk into our lives full of surprise and delight.

I have been guilty of keep girlfriends, men, employers, whoever in my life to the point that they became a destructive influence to me. I dreaded their phone call or walking into work. Learning to 'let go' of them has given me the courage to create a vacuum so new positive influence, new jobs could enter my life.

It takes courage to set boundaries with old friends and employers. It takes courage to go through that 'empty scared' feeling of being alone. I have to garner the faith that I am doing what is best for 'my life'. It takes practice to risk that I am taking the right action for me.

Who are you hanging on to out of habit? Is your loyalty to yourself or others? Take an inventory of your "friends" and see what you find. I bet you will be surprised.

Your Life - Your Rules!

Namaste Speedo

My Knowledge v/s My Experience

I was talking to a friend the other day and she told me that she understood what I was going through. I ask her to share her experience with me and to my surprise she told me that she had watched a friend go through what I'm going through. She added "It'll all work out just fine."


I watched 50 go by a number of years ago. When I was in my frustrating youth - 20's and 30's - I really thought that my knowledge would serve me just as well as experience. Boy was I wrong! The old saying "Don't judge anyone until you have walked in their shoes" comes to mind.


You just cannot replace experience with any amount of knowledge. Theory is wonderful, but it is not fact. You cannot undo a heartbreak unless you have had a big one yourself. Why? Because theory tells you the you will get over it. While Experience has shown you that it will take quite a while until you can pick yourself up and move on. It's the depth of your love for that person that can never be replaced no matter how many acquaintances you try on. If it's not there - it is not there.


The same goes for all life's lessons as wells as all relationships you might enter. Each one is unique and precious. No knowledge will replace the real experience. We can lean on the past but we need to stay vulnerable to the now and the future. Love is all there is!


What does your Knowledgetell you? What does your Experience tell you?


Your Life - Your Rules!


Namaste Speedo

Short Term Memory

How long is your memory? Really!

Too long causes problems - I know. I have had t ability to hold on to memories - resentments - for way too long. They, so I thought, use to serve me well. I wouldn't allow 'that' to happen again or allow myself to taken advantage of by the same person or group.

What would happen to me if I became instilled with a short-term memory?

This really is an important question to explore. What I discovered was I became free to live my life instead of always holding onto 'wrongs' that I allowed to happen to me. Freedom to become vulnerable to life and all or its' surprises. What a gift!

Today I could no longer live with a long-term memory full of resentment, grudges, shuns. It would destroy the man that I have worked so hard to become.

How's your memory? What is it filled with? Is it stifling your outlook on today and the future?

Your Life - Your Rules!

Namaste Speedo

Are You Overwhelmed?????

From time to time everyone gets overwhelmed. Have you figured out why? It turns out to be common scense after you figure out what the real cause is.

Most of us have a task list of "to do's" - written or mental - that we do not prioritize. When we attempt to do everything on the list we get burn out, tired or frustrated.

So the secret is to learn how to prioritize our list. Most of us do not have a system to prioritize. Without a system we randomly try to check off our list.

Here's a solution system to prioritizing your list.

1. List the projects you want to complete.

2. Rank the projects by ROI and RISK or MOST IMPORTANT to LEAST IMPORTANT.

In business - how much $$$ is each one worth? What is the probability of success?

In your personal life - have-to's and can put-off to another day.

"Timebox" your tasks. How much time should it take you to complete any given task? You will know just by looking at the list. For longer more involved tasks, be sure to give yourself enough time to complete them. Don't skimp - this is the reason that you become overwhelmed in the first place. Be honest with yourself. For big projects, try to give yourself a minimum of 2 weeks to a month. This will allow you to be distracted by interruptions that do crop up in our busy lives without feeling added pressure.

If you have a long term goal, try to spend 'x' hours a day or week on reaching that goal. Most goals are not meant to be accomplished in an hour or a day. They are something that we are striving to gain or become. Give yourself enough time. This is very important to remember.

What does your list look like? Some people organize 'sticky notes' on the refrigerator or wall. Reorganizing them as they are completed. This is kind of a liquid task listing.

Your Life - Your Rules!

Namaste Speedo

Days of Whine and Focus?

I read a friend's blog (blakesnyder.com - the link is listed) now and then to keep up with my fellows in the screenwriting community. From time to time I skim through the archives to see what I've missed. My inspiration for today's blog came from Blake's January blog "What's your focus."

What's your focus is an important question today. We all need to check our focus daily. Otherwise we, I, get lost in all the "issues" that we get bombarded with through news, work, kids, neighbors - really everything that surrounds us on a daily basis.

It is so easy to become a "whiner" and a victim. I have to remember that I am responsible for my life and the decisions that I make. I need to make conscious appraisals and decisions based on facts. I need to be honest with what I see coming down the road and adjust my "life's budget" accordingly. If I do not - I will be lost in deluded thoughts and excuses asking "what just happened?" I cannot afford to live my life that way.

So - the most important issue that we can focus on is our family. We are responsible for keeping our family - those living under our roof - safe and secure. Our friends and adult children are responsible for their families too.

Next, if we are self-employed, we need to focus on what is important - that is to keep our doors open. We have to work smart. We need to learn to be prudent in all our decisions. If we are a small business with employees, we have hard choices to make. We cannot live in the delusion that next week will magically be better. Customers are slow to pay in times like this. You still have hard fixed costs to cover and we still need to look out for our families - #1. We cannot take security and food out of our families mouths to save our employee's families. It's a tough call, but they are responsible for the security of their families by being good stewards in their financial world. And - deep down inside they understand this.

Next, if we work for someone as their employee, we have to become realistic to what is going on. I choose to become proactive and ask how secure they are? What do they predict the future holds for them. Then, armed with that knowledge, I take it home and talk to my family about what's going on. It does no one any good to pretend that everything is just fine. All this does is build resentment and stress. This is not being an alarmist

If I focus on becoming a professional in my life. If I can be completely honest with my family. We have a wonderful opportunity to ride this adventure with grace together.

Being a professional - I must allow my family members to be scared and walk through their fears with them. Together and only together can we love and work as a complete family unit.

Where's your focus today? It takes courage to become the professional in your life.

Your Life - Your Rules!

Namaste Speedo

Seeing Clarity

"Do you know what clarity is Speedo? Don't answer. . . . I'll tell you. . . . It's when the obvious becomes apparent!".

This confrontation happened about 20 years ago - and it still resonates today. Fritz was an ex-jockey raised in the brownstone neighborhoods of Chicago. Fritz never minced words.


There are times in my life when I get lost in a situation. I make all sorts of excuses for the reason I find myself struggling for an answer. What I have lost really is my ability to stand back and take an observer's look in order to assess what is really going on. I have lost my ability to gain clarity.

I know that I am not the only one to struggle with this. It doesn't matter if it involves financial, relationships, work - whatever. We all loose clarity at times. No one has the right answers all the time.

This is when I need a mentor or friend that I trust to bounce this off of. He or she is able to take a step back, uninvolved and tell me what they see. It really is a visual thing. They see me struggling and how it is effecting my life. If I am able to be honest, they are able to see the events that lead up to my crisis. They are able to see the actions I must take in order for me to regain my Emotional Sobriety. Now it's up to me to find the courage to take the actions.

People have written about the use of mentors ever since man began to walk up-right - and maybe before. 12 step programs rely heavily on the use of sponsorship in their recovery programs.

Do you have a mentor or sponsor to bounce things off? It works!

Your Life - Your Rules!

Namaste Speedo