So you want to have Kids!

As I am writing this - Jane and her daughter are over in LA taping the Dr. Phil Show.

Jane was so emotional from the Friday interview that she decided to drive up to her other son's house to spend the weekend with his wife and the new twins. She'd had enough stress in her life and she really just wanted to get away and play with the babies. Great plan - right?

Well it was a great plan up until the time her son reminded her of the time he chose to go live with his dad after the divorce. He told her every fear, broken promise, abandonment issue that he felt he was entitled to dump on her . . . oh he's around 40 years old.

She listened until it really got abusive then she told him to stop. They got into a heated discussion that lasted for a couple of hours when Jane finally realized that she had had enough.

Jane told me that she has decided to cut off contact with all of her kids - there is a middle son also. She is tired of carrying around all of their hurt and verbal abuse that they believe they have a right to dump on her. "I just want to be left alone to live my life. I have spent the last 40 years trying to love and live their lives - attempting to make it easier for each of them. Enough!"

Bravo Jane. I don't' know what it takes for parents to realize that our job is the raise our kids until they become responsible adults. And if they do not become responsible adults - I believe that it is up to us to cut them free - leave the nest so to speak - so they can learn how to become responsible adults. The longer we wait - the more guilt we take on when we finally do close the door.

It's hard to cut them off and watch them struggle . . .but like Jane, I bet you tried it the other way and you're suffering the same abuse. You've tried giving them another chance to no avail.

I really feel for Jane - I've known her for 20 years and she is a kind, gentle, funny, loving, generous woman. She deserves better.

I told her not to worry about Dr Phil . . . it's entertain for him, his viewers and the audience. They want a show. I think he's a softer, gentler Jerry Springer.

One last thing . . the Producer asked Jane what she hoped would come from all this "I just want to have a loving relationship with my daughter" was her reply.

When the same Producer ask her daughter she replied - "I want Dr Phil to show her what an evil bitch she's been to me".

I guess that says it all.

Your Life - Your Rules!
Namaste Speedo