I read a friend's blog (blakesnyder.com - the link is listed) now and then to keep up with my fellows in the screenwriting community. From time to time I skim through the archives to see what I've missed. My inspiration for today's blog came from Blake's January blog "What's your focus."
What's your focus is an important question today. We all need to check our focus daily. Otherwise we, I, get lost in all the "issues" that we get bombarded with through news, work, kids, neighbors - really everything that surrounds us on a daily basis.
It is so easy to become a "whiner" and a victim. I have to remember that I am responsible for my life and the decisions that I make. I need to make conscious appraisals and decisions based on facts. I need to be honest with what I see coming down the road and adjust my "life's budget" accordingly. If I do not - I will be lost in deluded thoughts and excuses asking "what just happened?" I cannot afford to live my life that way.
So - the most important issue that we can focus on is our family. We are responsible for keeping our family - those living under our roof - safe and secure. Our friends and adult children are responsible for their families too.
Next, if we are self-employed, we need to focus on what is important - that is to keep our doors open. We have to work smart. We need to learn to be prudent in all our decisions. If we are a small business with employees, we have hard choices to make. We cannot live in the delusion that next week will magically be better. Customers are slow to pay in times like this. You still have hard fixed costs to cover and we still need to look out for our families - #1. We cannot take security and food out of our families mouths to save our employee's families. It's a tough call, but they are responsible for the security of their families by being good stewards in their financial world. And - deep down inside they understand this.
Next, if we work for someone as their employee, we have to become realistic to what is going on. I choose to become proactive and ask how secure they are? What do they predict the future holds for them. Then, armed with that knowledge, I take it home and talk to my family about what's going on. It does no one any good to pretend that everything is just fine. All this does is build resentment and stress. This is not being an alarmist
If I focus on becoming a professional in my life. If I can be completely honest with my family. We have a wonderful opportunity to ride this adventure with grace together.
Being a professional - I must allow my family members to be scared and walk through their fears with them. Together and only together can we love and work as a complete family unit.
Where's your focus today? It takes courage to become the professional in your life.
Your Life - Your Rules!
Namaste Speedo
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Seeing Clarity
"Do you know what clarity is Speedo? Don't answer. . . . I'll tell you. . . . It's when the obvious becomes apparent!".
This confrontation happened about 20 years ago - and it still resonates today. Fritz was an ex-jockey raised in the brownstone neighborhoods of Chicago. Fritz never minced words.
There are times in my life when I get lost in a situation. I make all sorts of excuses for the reason I find myself struggling for an answer. What I have lost really is my ability to stand back and take an observer's look in order to assess what is really going on. I have lost my ability to gain clarity.
I know that I am not the only one to struggle with this. It doesn't matter if it involves financial, relationships, work - whatever. We all loose clarity at times. No one has the right answers all the time.
This is when I need a mentor or friend that I trust to bounce this off of. He or she is able to take a step back, uninvolved and tell me what they see. It really is a visual thing. They see me struggling and how it is effecting my life. If I am able to be honest, they are able to see the events that lead up to my crisis. They are able to see the actions I must take in order for me to regain my Emotional Sobriety. Now it's up to me to find the courage to take the actions.
People have written about the use of mentors ever since man began to walk up-right - and maybe before. 12 step programs rely heavily on the use of sponsorship in their recovery programs.
Do you have a mentor or sponsor to bounce things off? It works!
Your Life - Your Rules!
Namaste Speedo
This confrontation happened about 20 years ago - and it still resonates today. Fritz was an ex-jockey raised in the brownstone neighborhoods of Chicago. Fritz never minced words.
There are times in my life when I get lost in a situation. I make all sorts of excuses for the reason I find myself struggling for an answer. What I have lost really is my ability to stand back and take an observer's look in order to assess what is really going on. I have lost my ability to gain clarity.
I know that I am not the only one to struggle with this. It doesn't matter if it involves financial, relationships, work - whatever. We all loose clarity at times. No one has the right answers all the time.
This is when I need a mentor or friend that I trust to bounce this off of. He or she is able to take a step back, uninvolved and tell me what they see. It really is a visual thing. They see me struggling and how it is effecting my life. If I am able to be honest, they are able to see the events that lead up to my crisis. They are able to see the actions I must take in order for me to regain my Emotional Sobriety. Now it's up to me to find the courage to take the actions.
People have written about the use of mentors ever since man began to walk up-right - and maybe before. 12 step programs rely heavily on the use of sponsorship in their recovery programs.
Do you have a mentor or sponsor to bounce things off? It works!
Your Life - Your Rules!
Namaste Speedo
The Key to Happiness
I never use to ask for what I wanted. I expected people to act like I did. I would observe and respond with the appropriate gift, kind deed, project the right thing to do for them - read their minds or look into my crystal ball. All this brought me was frustration - wondering why nobody seemed to be able to read my mind. So it had to lead to my resenting friends, parents, sibling, etc.
What happened? I had to learn to forgive people for not reading my mind. I had to take a risk and ask for what I wanted in life, and that took courage and a lot of practice. I am still a little uncomfortable asking - but I practice daily.
The next thing I had to change in my life was to learn to ask people what they wanted in their life from me. I could no longer assume anything - I took this to the extreme at first, but again with practice I became more comfortable.
Am amazing thing happened to me - I became less judgemental and kinder to others. Now, I'm not trying to present my transformation is anywhere near perfect, but there has been a lot of progress.
The hardest place to practice this is with loved-ones, long-time friends and family. All I can say is I have built up a number of habits with these people and I have to remain conscience when I am around them. Most of the time my sarcasm is the weapon that I throw out attempting to be funny. It never works - I usually have to make an amends immediately and hope for some forgiveness.
What I have discovered is forgiveness begins first at home - then I can take it out into the streets. I use to tell people that I am not being judgemental - just a keen observer. What a crock! All I was doing was dressing judgements in a disguise - it gave me an excuse to be critical of everyone. I had to learn to appreciate the path that strangers, friends, loved-ones and family were on.
Today I try to walk in forgiveness and to be non-judgemental to everyone I meet. It's a struggle at times - but the reward is serenity and emotional sobriety. It allows me to create better relationships wherever I go. I compromise my ego and celebrate my fellows I meet as our paths cross.
Maybe our paths will cross. Forgiveness is my key to happiness.
Happiness is the result of practice.
Your Life - Your Rules!
Namaste Speedo
What happened? I had to learn to forgive people for not reading my mind. I had to take a risk and ask for what I wanted in life, and that took courage and a lot of practice. I am still a little uncomfortable asking - but I practice daily.
The next thing I had to change in my life was to learn to ask people what they wanted in their life from me. I could no longer assume anything - I took this to the extreme at first, but again with practice I became more comfortable.
Am amazing thing happened to me - I became less judgemental and kinder to others. Now, I'm not trying to present my transformation is anywhere near perfect, but there has been a lot of progress.
The hardest place to practice this is with loved-ones, long-time friends and family. All I can say is I have built up a number of habits with these people and I have to remain conscience when I am around them. Most of the time my sarcasm is the weapon that I throw out attempting to be funny. It never works - I usually have to make an amends immediately and hope for some forgiveness.
What I have discovered is forgiveness begins first at home - then I can take it out into the streets. I use to tell people that I am not being judgemental - just a keen observer. What a crock! All I was doing was dressing judgements in a disguise - it gave me an excuse to be critical of everyone. I had to learn to appreciate the path that strangers, friends, loved-ones and family were on.
Today I try to walk in forgiveness and to be non-judgemental to everyone I meet. It's a struggle at times - but the reward is serenity and emotional sobriety. It allows me to create better relationships wherever I go. I compromise my ego and celebrate my fellows I meet as our paths cross.
Maybe our paths will cross. Forgiveness is my key to happiness.
Happiness is the result of practice.
Your Life - Your Rules!
Namaste Speedo
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Life is Uncertain
Life is fleeting. Uncertain.
Now that being said - I want to ask you a question: Do you act on your insecurities? Do you take risks to better your life? Do you Chase Your Potential and Dreams?
I had to learn to overcome my fears to live the life that I want. I am not completely there yet, but I am a whole lot closer to achieving my dreams than before. What do I have to loose?
I use to try something half-heartily and when I failed - I thought that it wasn't meant to be. I thought that I wasn't good enough to achieve my goal. I'd loose my focus and fear would raise its ugly head breathing smoke to disguise my successes. I'd loose my patience with my progress, get frustrated and look for something else to quince my desires. Not usually to best course for success.
I had to find a way to quit my limiting beliefs and go for the gusto. In these uncertain times we, I, really need to get rid of my limiting beliefs. None of us can afford to sabotage ourselves. But how do we Stop?
I had to find the courage to "Keep Swimming" as they said in Finding Nemo. Another saying is "Keep on Truckin" or "Act as If" - I'm sure that you can find a mantra that fits your personality. In short, I need to be vigilant in my efforts to succeed.
We live in financially stressful times. This cannot be ignored. I need to be prudent and become a good steward of my money. Also, I need to be a good steward of my time and efforts. I have taken a hard assessment of my time management skills. I discovered that I needed to make some changes. These are in the process.
I have begun to demand more of myself. Maximum effort. Failure is not an option. It doesn't mean that it won't occur - It just means that I focus on the rewards of success. It is the fuel that drives my efforts.
Life may be too short - but it is my life and I need to make the most of the time that I have. I choose to spend more time with those I love. Share what I have with others. Continue to become a positive influence in the lives of the people I meet. And Chase My Dreams.
What are you doing today to sweeten your life? Are you making the most of what you have? Your dreams are within reach - they're your dreams!
Your Life - Your Rules!
Namaste Speedo
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Looking for Potential
I was thumbing through a magazine the other day at the barber shop and came across an article about New Year's resolutions. It talked about instead of lamenting and assessing what we had not accomplished on our 08 Resolution list, why not take a hard assessment of their potential success for 2009.
This stopped me in my tracks. True. For most of us, including me, I tend to look at the items still left to accomplish as failures. I never look at the potential that I can carry over to my new list.
So this year I am assessing what goals I had on my 08 list that I did not accomplish, but have the potential for completion this year. I was surprised.
One of the goals that did not get accomplished was working out seminars and speaking on Serenity Rules, Emotional Sobriety and Surviving Stressful Times. I wrote a while back about my invitation to join Business Relationship Program. By this invitation alone, I accomplished this big goal. Or at least I have the potential to accomplish this goal.
Another one of my goal for 08 was to create another income stream of $15,000/mo. The potential for this goal is close at hand. By joining BRP, I have the potential to achieve this goal. In fact, I may have to reevaluate this figure upward.
One more goal was to pick up 4 coaching clients per month. Again, by joining BRP I have the potential achieve this goal. In fact, I may have to reevaluate this goal.
By doing this exercise I have an entirely new outlook on my goal list. Instead of kicking myself about what I did not accomplish - I now have a tool to turn perceived failures into potential successes.
What about you? What items on your list have you kicked yourself over? Can you turn any of these from failure to accomplish to potential successes? I bet you can.
Your Life - Your Rules!
Namaste Speedo
This stopped me in my tracks. True. For most of us, including me, I tend to look at the items still left to accomplish as failures. I never look at the potential that I can carry over to my new list.
So this year I am assessing what goals I had on my 08 list that I did not accomplish, but have the potential for completion this year. I was surprised.
One of the goals that did not get accomplished was working out seminars and speaking on Serenity Rules, Emotional Sobriety and Surviving Stressful Times. I wrote a while back about my invitation to join Business Relationship Program. By this invitation alone, I accomplished this big goal. Or at least I have the potential to accomplish this goal.
Another one of my goal for 08 was to create another income stream of $15,000/mo. The potential for this goal is close at hand. By joining BRP, I have the potential to achieve this goal. In fact, I may have to reevaluate this figure upward.
One more goal was to pick up 4 coaching clients per month. Again, by joining BRP I have the potential achieve this goal. In fact, I may have to reevaluate this goal.
By doing this exercise I have an entirely new outlook on my goal list. Instead of kicking myself about what I did not accomplish - I now have a tool to turn perceived failures into potential successes.
What about you? What items on your list have you kicked yourself over? Can you turn any of these from failure to accomplish to potential successes? I bet you can.
Your Life - Your Rules!
Namaste Speedo
Monday, February 16, 2009
Attractiion and Action
So much has been written on this subject - I felt that I was being left out. So here's my 2 cents. It works! I could end this blog right now - but my fingers are warmed up.
The Secret. The Art of Visualization. You'll See it when You Believe It. Creating the Life You Want. Materialization. The Law of Attraction. Etc. Etc.
None of this is new. They were preaching and writing about attraction thousands of years ago. Nothing has changes except for the new generation that hasn't been exposed to this "New Thought". It is reexamined every few years now - I wonder if we owe it to the internet? Possibly. But it still is a great message. "As you think - you will become". Or something like that.
We attract what we think about. Sometimes it screams at us through our friends. Other times it is demonstrated through situations we find ourselves in. And still other times is materializes through an epitome. No matter how it is demonstrated - it is up to us to recognize what's going on and find the courage to take action. Action is the real secret.
Do I Think my way into right Action? Or, Do I Act my way into right Thinking? Can they be separated?
People who deem themselves as profound "thinkers" will argue that thinking always precedes actions. But I can show you people who spend so much time in their heads they never get anything done. They talk about what they are going to do, but mostly they never get anything done.
Now there are people who are into action. Sometimes, to the observer, they act without thinking. These people are doers. They are the ones who build things. They are the ones who end up building successful businesses. They are the inventors. They are the innovators. They never worry about what would happen if they fail. They revel in reward of success. Failure is a part of success.
So if you are not getting what you think about - try adding more action into your recipe. You will be surprises at what you attract.
What are you attracting today? Is it really what you want?
Your Life - Your Rules!
Namaste Speedo
The Secret. The Art of Visualization. You'll See it when You Believe It. Creating the Life You Want. Materialization. The Law of Attraction. Etc. Etc.
None of this is new. They were preaching and writing about attraction thousands of years ago. Nothing has changes except for the new generation that hasn't been exposed to this "New Thought". It is reexamined every few years now - I wonder if we owe it to the internet? Possibly. But it still is a great message. "As you think - you will become". Or something like that.
We attract what we think about. Sometimes it screams at us through our friends. Other times it is demonstrated through situations we find ourselves in. And still other times is materializes through an epitome. No matter how it is demonstrated - it is up to us to recognize what's going on and find the courage to take action. Action is the real secret.
Do I Think my way into right Action? Or, Do I Act my way into right Thinking? Can they be separated?
People who deem themselves as profound "thinkers" will argue that thinking always precedes actions. But I can show you people who spend so much time in their heads they never get anything done. They talk about what they are going to do, but mostly they never get anything done.
Now there are people who are into action. Sometimes, to the observer, they act without thinking. These people are doers. They are the ones who build things. They are the ones who end up building successful businesses. They are the inventors. They are the innovators. They never worry about what would happen if they fail. They revel in reward of success. Failure is a part of success.
So if you are not getting what you think about - try adding more action into your recipe. You will be surprises at what you attract.
What are you attracting today? Is it really what you want?
Your Life - Your Rules!
Namaste Speedo
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Marking time
How do you measure things?
Money is good but all too fleeting and the last couple of months have shown us. Accomplishments are milestones too, but there is always another one. Birthdays seem to be generally accepted by most folks. Runners measure in either distance or time. Salespeople measure in deals closed that lead to commission dollars. Teenagers use friends or groups for their markers. Kids I remember use toys accumulated. Mothers use ages and success of their kids. Men use acquiring stuff or affiliations.
Now the one thing all of the above have in common is that it takes time to measure anything. Whether you use money, things, distance, accomplishments - I believe they all represent a time frame of sorts.
I'm not big on New Year's as a marker of time. I use birthdays or anniversaries. I just seems more personal to me. I can gage where I was before and where I am at now.
I look at my goals list to see what has been accomplished and what needs to be added to this years goal list. Sometimes I surprise myself and see a goal that is no longer important to me. I strike it of the list, but not before reflecting why I put it on the list in the first place. Sometimes I crack myself up at my reasoning.
How do you measure time?
Your Life - Your Rules!
Namaste Speedo
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Yen and Yang
Oh my goodness!
I have been sitting on this blog for a few days now. It important to let "things" peculate for a while so they can find a voice of their own. This is one of those times.
I learned from my doctor that they have narrowed it down to one of three possible diseases: 1) Cancer of the colon; 2) Colitis; or 3) Crohn's disease. They will not be able to narrow it down until I go through a colonoscopy. They will schedule it as soon as there is an opening. This is just another adventure.
Okay. Here's the flip side. I have been invited to join a national speakers bureau, Business Relationships Program, based out of Atlanta. They received a copy of my ebook "Serenity Rules: Your Life - Your Rules!" about a year a go. They really liked that I had a book and a workbook already written. They want to put a package together made up of DVD's; Inter-active Internet site; Infomercial.
It's what I always wanted to do. In fact, I started down the seminar road about three years ago before I became ill the first time - mis-diagnosis. Now I get to join forces with BRP and develop a complete program for businesses - small and corporations. It will be a lot of fun. I am really excited to be working with BRP.
What Yen and Yang do you have going on in your life? I'd love to hear about it.
Your Life - Your Rules!
Namaste Speedo
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Simple Secret to Success
Here's a simplistic formula to achieving success that I found reading a column on becoming a better writer. It is the same for any profession.
It said that first you have to be good at what you do. Not earth-shaking information. Next it said that you never stop learning. Taking classes, reading articles and books, talking to others in the same profession, networking - I think that you get the point. And next, keep working in your profession - don't give up.
Too many of us venture in and out of "trendy professions" hoping to be successful without committing time and energy to becoming better and better. We become stagnant, frustrated and then we change our focus to something new.
Every successful person found something that they enjoyed doing, stuck it out through challenging time and continued to become better. Tiger Woods has a lot of talent fueled by hours of practice in his early years. Today as the world's best golfer - he keeps challenging himself to become better. Why? He wants to remain the world's best golfer. He has a number of professionals on his staff to coach him so that he remains number 1.
What are you doing to better yourself? Do you have a coach?
Your Life - Your Rules!
Namaste Speedo
It said that first you have to be good at what you do. Not earth-shaking information. Next it said that you never stop learning. Taking classes, reading articles and books, talking to others in the same profession, networking - I think that you get the point. And next, keep working in your profession - don't give up.
Too many of us venture in and out of "trendy professions" hoping to be successful without committing time and energy to becoming better and better. We become stagnant, frustrated and then we change our focus to something new.
Every successful person found something that they enjoyed doing, stuck it out through challenging time and continued to become better. Tiger Woods has a lot of talent fueled by hours of practice in his early years. Today as the world's best golfer - he keeps challenging himself to become better. Why? He wants to remain the world's best golfer. He has a number of professionals on his staff to coach him so that he remains number 1.
What are you doing to better yourself? Do you have a coach?
Your Life - Your Rules!
Namaste Speedo
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Worry and Time
I read this this morning and it really hits home.
"Worry and Time have an inverse relationship - The more you worry the less time you have. The more time you have the less you worry!"
I am headed back to the hospital to have my tests read or at least shared with me. I don't know what will happen. They will say one of three things: 1) I have X,Y or Z; 2) I need more tests to figure out what's going on; or 3) They don't know what's going on - they can't find anything.
I have to admit that I look at this as an adventure, that's what our lives really are. A life, human adventure between being Spirit.
I am lucky. I have a lot of people who are truly concerned about me and keep my in their prayers. I believe that prayer works, specially when we are in other's prayers.
So - we will see what happens this afternoon.
Your Life - Your Rules!
Namaste Speedo
"Worry and Time have an inverse relationship - The more you worry the less time you have. The more time you have the less you worry!"
I am headed back to the hospital to have my tests read or at least shared with me. I don't know what will happen. They will say one of three things: 1) I have X,Y or Z; 2) I need more tests to figure out what's going on; or 3) They don't know what's going on - they can't find anything.
I have to admit that I look at this as an adventure, that's what our lives really are. A life, human adventure between being Spirit.
I am lucky. I have a lot of people who are truly concerned about me and keep my in their prayers. I believe that prayer works, specially when we are in other's prayers.
So - we will see what happens this afternoon.
Your Life - Your Rules!
Namaste Speedo
Monday, February 2, 2009
Staying Where Our Feet Are!
I was talking with a friend this morning about the Super Bowl. He told me that it was great. There was no "drama" in the room to disrupt the game.
Then he went on to tell me about his 16 year old son who is on probation with stipulations. He's messing up. He's not doing anything the court ask him to do. And it's driving my friend nuts.
He's loosing sleep, weight and because his wife is making excuses for their son's actions - he is alone with his concerns. He's tried simple reminders of the consequences for not following the court's direction - it doesn't phase his son.
I reminded my friend that the hardest thing that we as parents can do is nothing. At 16, his son is responsible, in the court's eyes, for his actions. It is his choices that got him into trouble in the first place and it seems that he is choosing to go down the road to self-destruction. No amount of love and worry can change that. It's sad to watch this. But we have to get to the point of accepting that it his son's choice - today.
I ask my friend if he can practice this simple exercise - try to stay where your feet are, just for now. It wont change what choices his son is making - but it will give him a little peace.
What is the drama going on in your life? Can you do anything to change it? If so, take the action. If not, practice staying where your feet are to find some peace.
Your Life - Your Rules!
Namaste Speedo
Then he went on to tell me about his 16 year old son who is on probation with stipulations. He's messing up. He's not doing anything the court ask him to do. And it's driving my friend nuts.
He's loosing sleep, weight and because his wife is making excuses for their son's actions - he is alone with his concerns. He's tried simple reminders of the consequences for not following the court's direction - it doesn't phase his son.
I reminded my friend that the hardest thing that we as parents can do is nothing. At 16, his son is responsible, in the court's eyes, for his actions. It is his choices that got him into trouble in the first place and it seems that he is choosing to go down the road to self-destruction. No amount of love and worry can change that. It's sad to watch this. But we have to get to the point of accepting that it his son's choice - today.
I ask my friend if he can practice this simple exercise - try to stay where your feet are, just for now. It wont change what choices his son is making - but it will give him a little peace.
What is the drama going on in your life? Can you do anything to change it? If so, take the action. If not, practice staying where your feet are to find some peace.
Your Life - Your Rules!
Namaste Speedo
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