Old Friends

This morning I listened to a gal-friend tell me about a girlfriend that she has had for over thirty years and the struggles she's having watching her path in life. She told me that it breaks her heart to hear the denial and excuses that her friend gives for her destructive actions.

I ask her why does she choose to have her remain a close friend in her life? Her answer was the same answer that we give for keeping 'old friends' close to us - Loyalty to her friend.

I thought of what Erick Butterworth said (I paraphrase) - "The greatest harm we can do to ourselves or others is to keep them in our lives too long. We do not know when we meet someone whether they should remain in our lives 5 minutes or 50 years". When we hang on to people too long - we inhibit the wonderful experience of having some new soul walk into our lives full of surprise and delight.

I have been guilty of keep girlfriends, men, employers, whoever in my life to the point that they became a destructive influence to me. I dreaded their phone call or walking into work. Learning to 'let go' of them has given me the courage to create a vacuum so new positive influence, new jobs could enter my life.

It takes courage to set boundaries with old friends and employers. It takes courage to go through that 'empty scared' feeling of being alone. I have to garner the faith that I am doing what is best for 'my life'. It takes practice to risk that I am taking the right action for me.

Who are you hanging on to out of habit? Is your loyalty to yourself or others? Take an inventory of your "friends" and see what you find. I bet you will be surprised.

Your Life - Your Rules!

Namaste Speedo

My Knowledge v/s My Experience

I was talking to a friend the other day and she told me that she understood what I was going through. I ask her to share her experience with me and to my surprise she told me that she had watched a friend go through what I'm going through. She added "It'll all work out just fine."


I watched 50 go by a number of years ago. When I was in my frustrating youth - 20's and 30's - I really thought that my knowledge would serve me just as well as experience. Boy was I wrong! The old saying "Don't judge anyone until you have walked in their shoes" comes to mind.


You just cannot replace experience with any amount of knowledge. Theory is wonderful, but it is not fact. You cannot undo a heartbreak unless you have had a big one yourself. Why? Because theory tells you the you will get over it. While Experience has shown you that it will take quite a while until you can pick yourself up and move on. It's the depth of your love for that person that can never be replaced no matter how many acquaintances you try on. If it's not there - it is not there.


The same goes for all life's lessons as wells as all relationships you might enter. Each one is unique and precious. No knowledge will replace the real experience. We can lean on the past but we need to stay vulnerable to the now and the future. Love is all there is!


What does your Knowledgetell you? What does your Experience tell you?


Your Life - Your Rules!


Namaste Speedo

Short Term Memory

How long is your memory? Really!

Too long causes problems - I know. I have had t ability to hold on to memories - resentments - for way too long. They, so I thought, use to serve me well. I wouldn't allow 'that' to happen again or allow myself to taken advantage of by the same person or group.

What would happen to me if I became instilled with a short-term memory?

This really is an important question to explore. What I discovered was I became free to live my life instead of always holding onto 'wrongs' that I allowed to happen to me. Freedom to become vulnerable to life and all or its' surprises. What a gift!

Today I could no longer live with a long-term memory full of resentment, grudges, shuns. It would destroy the man that I have worked so hard to become.

How's your memory? What is it filled with? Is it stifling your outlook on today and the future?

Your Life - Your Rules!

Namaste Speedo

Are You Overwhelmed?????

From time to time everyone gets overwhelmed. Have you figured out why? It turns out to be common scense after you figure out what the real cause is.

Most of us have a task list of "to do's" - written or mental - that we do not prioritize. When we attempt to do everything on the list we get burn out, tired or frustrated.

So the secret is to learn how to prioritize our list. Most of us do not have a system to prioritize. Without a system we randomly try to check off our list.

Here's a solution system to prioritizing your list.

1. List the projects you want to complete.

2. Rank the projects by ROI and RISK or MOST IMPORTANT to LEAST IMPORTANT.

In business - how much $$$ is each one worth? What is the probability of success?

In your personal life - have-to's and can put-off to another day.

"Timebox" your tasks. How much time should it take you to complete any given task? You will know just by looking at the list. For longer more involved tasks, be sure to give yourself enough time to complete them. Don't skimp - this is the reason that you become overwhelmed in the first place. Be honest with yourself. For big projects, try to give yourself a minimum of 2 weeks to a month. This will allow you to be distracted by interruptions that do crop up in our busy lives without feeling added pressure.

If you have a long term goal, try to spend 'x' hours a day or week on reaching that goal. Most goals are not meant to be accomplished in an hour or a day. They are something that we are striving to gain or become. Give yourself enough time. This is very important to remember.

What does your list look like? Some people organize 'sticky notes' on the refrigerator or wall. Reorganizing them as they are completed. This is kind of a liquid task listing.

Your Life - Your Rules!

Namaste Speedo