Respecting Commitments

I am sitting here stewing over assuming that someone would do what they said they would do at a specific time.

I was brought up to keep my word and appointments. If something comes up, I was taught to call and make other arrangements - to communicate so the other party doesn't have to wonder what's going on. It's respectful. It's courtesy. It's the proper thing to do. 

For two days my friend told me that he had an errand to run and would be right over. To me that means maybe 15 or 30 minutes - not unreasonable. The first day I wanted to know what time so I could make other plans to remain productive while I waited or to be ready because we wanted to squeeze in a visit to the hospital to comfort a friend. Two hours later he showed up and acted as if nothing was wrong. 

The following day this same friend lead me to believe that he had an errand to run and would be right over to pick up something - maybe a 3 minute stop - and then he would be on his way. I prepared the items for pick up and waited. And waited. No call. 3 and a 1/2 hours later - still no word.

Since I was brought up by a man who based his livelihood and our families welfare from sales, (ie to be on time and prompt to close the sale) I feel totally disrespectful to not even - after a 1/2 hour to explain that he couldn't do it today. 

I believe that we know at the time we make a commitment, appointment, that we know if we will do what we say we are going to do. It's not that difficult. I do not say yes unless I mean yes. I do not say no unless I mean no. Am I that unreasonable to expect the same thing from others? It seems that I was born on a different planet. . maybe they were.

Today people will tell you what they think you want to hear and then blow you off at their convenience. 

How you do handle being blown off at an others whim? In business, to find someone who is trustworthy - specially in these economic times - standing out from the crowd, being respectful, communicating - means a lot. 

Your Life - Your Rules!

Namaste Speedo

Totally Unreasonable??

"It's not like you're being totally unreasonable. It's that no one - seems to be willing to see things your way. Now - Why might that be?"

I know that I can relate to the statement. I have to admit - I don't think that it's wrong to have our own opinions. I believe it's only human nature that our personal experiences color our beliefs and reactions to ideals and events. This is not to say that things can change with new current factual information or a new personal experience.

I have to look to see if I need to evolve in certain areas. As we all should do. Am I hanging onto beliefs out of traditions and habits? Am I so entrenched in my beliefs that I have become closed minded to others' opinions. I hope not.

I find that I need - yes this is a real need - to remain willing, honest and open-minded as I walk through my life daily. Any resistance to new ideas and I find myself clogged with suffering. What do I mean? From time to time I suffer from not allowing myself to become vulnerable to what life is presenting me. I become a director and not a participant in life. A sad state of affairs.

Can you relate to being closed off to vulnerability and the gifts that it brings? What can you do to open yourself up? Could it be entrenched fear left over from eons ago? It might be interesting to discover what you find when you take an honest, open-minded, willing look? 

Your Life - Your Rules!

Namaste Speedo

Accepting Good-Bye

I don't know why - but I have had a tough time accepting "good-bye and take care" from my last relationship. I guess it was because it wasn't my idea. Isn't that the way it goes.

Today I was able to close the door on it. I am so co-dependent when it come to relationships that it drives me - and them - nuts. I am working on it through men's group - 7-10 men that meet weekly for support and working the Coda steps. I have found relief.

I must add - it helps - but it doesn't totally relieve the pain of being rejected. What a demoralizing feeling. There really is nothing that you can do about but go through it.

I did get my guitar back and that helps. There is something about playing music that eases most of the pain. I have always turned to music when I go through losses. It is my way of grieving. 

Writing helps too.

I wish her only happiness and love . . . the same as I wish for myself.

Your Life - Your Rules

Namaste Speedo

Honor Life

I have been going through a number  of changes in my life recently. What I have learned walking my path is I have to be vigilant in my approach to friends and strangers a like. 

When circumstances affect my life style - relationship break-up or new, work changes - loosing or acquiring, health issues, personal loss - I have to remain optimistic and vulnerable to life and remain an observer to new opportunities placed in front of me. 

Life is a constant change from this to that. Whether it's a good change or bad is up to the amount of resistance to change that envelops me. When I release my resistance I become willing to welcome a new life full of excitement and surprise my spirit shines and I meet your spirit.

Today I choose to let go of all my resistance that has been blocking my life. I release it and shout to the heavens "Next". 

How do you choose to honor life today? Resistance is always followed by release - only we know how long it will take. I am responsible for my life and choices I make.

Your Life - Your Rules!

Namaste Speedo