This is the question that I had to ask myself this week. Was I conscience of the world that I was existing in or was I living in an illusion of my own creation?
Well my answer lies somewhere in within both worlds. For years my real world was a dispassionate reality of acceptance - The Real World. This world is not colored with denial of victimization or excuses. For years - it worked for me and really saved my butt compared to "wishing" things were different as was my world for years. Being issued that affected personally or just influenced my life. For me Acceptance does not mean Approval - it's just reality. Thus, the Real World.
Now what I went through over the past recent months shook me to my core. I had created a world without any emotional attachment. I had become dispassionate, unaffected, aloof. I had created a protected barrier coddling me from what - I don't know. It took an emotional collision to crash down upon me to tell me that I could not exist removed from the real world and my fellows.
Today I am taking steps to become inclusive to my fellows. I welcome emotional involvement. I thrive on face to face emotional encounter that I once use to veer away from. I am learning the this is the fuel of live. I want to become a compassionate, approachable, empathetic man.
This is huge growth for me. I looked upon life with a critically searching eye and discovery. That way I didn't have to pay the price of being emotionally involved and could love you for what you or your family was struggling to walk through and I could remain a stoic well of pragmatism - ready to assist if called upon.
I missed the boat - heck, I miss the ocean. I had experienced such a devastating, destructive injury that to my way of thinking, this was a safe way to remain part of society. I was WRONG.
The human condition is an emotional involvement with our fellows. I had to crawl into the belly of the whale, surrender and surface with a new revelation. And it feels great.
I am proof that you can live in the Real World and be emotionally fueled by the brotherhood . . . and change can happen in an instant.
Namaste Speedo
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