Compromising My Ego

A hand went up from the audience as Father Richard Rohr, a Franciscan monk, was ending his talk on forgiveness - "What you're asking us to do is compromise the truth?" the man ask. "No, I am asking you to compromise your ego" he replied. 

Whoa! When I listen to this talk over again, his answer hit like a 2X4 in the back of the head. I have a hard head!

I had been so self-righteous in my dealing with the ones that I loved because I believed I was coming from my truth, that I had tossed away any forgiveness toward them. What a jerk!

When I am criticizing someone, it seems as I am always criticizing something in me that I need to address, but I'm not ready to address it yet. Do you know what I mean? Can you relate?

I thought that I had found the answer for me. . . . Set boundaries to live by and attach those boundaries to people I know and love. Now, I did not jump on friends when they didn't live up to my truth. I would spot trends through observation of how they lived their lives or dealt with me. If a trend was established that crossed my boundary or one of the rules that I wrote for myself, to protect my self, I would mention it to the individual. (Kind - wasn't I!?)

Who the heck am I to judge anyone on how they are living their lives? When did I rise to that prominence? Who appointed me the keeper of the world? What a Jerk!

Richard Rohr points out the we have to rise to the top of the mountain in our assurance that only we have the right answer before we can be emotionally chopped down so we can once again rise from the ashes as a common forgiving man. What a ride! 

I wouldn't change my fall for anything. Why? Because no one can understand how wrong they have been unless they have lost everything they loved and cherished. Only then, humbled by their actions, can they find a new way to approach their life.

What will happen to the loved ones that I have harmed and our relationship in the future? Well only time will reveal whether or not I will be forgiven by each one. I will make amends as I can, but the greatest amends is to live my new life with a compromised ego. Love is the only answer to all my ego based problems. 

The secret to my serenity is living by my own rules and principles. . . . and, allow others to discover and live by theirs. We all have a path that we need to follow. It's up to me to celebrate my loved ones path. That is the only way I can live in serenity and love.

Namaste Speedo