Hobson's Choice!

Have you ever been offered an all or nothing choice - not much of a choice when you look it. Your in a jam and there is no way out except to cop to whatever or die (emotionally anyway - maybe your life).

It originated from Thomas Hobson (1544-1631) from Cambridge England - he kept a livery stable and required every customer to take either the horse nearest the stable door or none at all. Not a customer service kind of guy - but a good businessman if you have no competition. He might have been the originator of the "supply and demand" theory in it simplest form.

Anyway - Hobson's Choice awakened some feeling in me that I want to address. How many times in my life had I had to make an all or nothing choice? Quite a few actually. (And - I am developing a screenplay where all the major characters have to walk through Hobson's Choice emotionally to save the day - especially the protagonist.)

As a kid growing up - it was presented to me many times. Usually done out of love from my parents. Follow the family rules as long as I lived under their roof. In some schools of thought this would be labeled abuse. Stifling the growth and development of a kid. My parents were old school.

In college I had a choice to show up for class, take the labs and tests or go to Viet Nam or work. I chose to show up until I was declared physically unfit for military service so I went to work.

I was fortunate to work in the oil patch around the world. While travel and living in other countries as an expatriate working on a visa I was able to follow their rules or go home. My mom gave me the best advise. She said "Speed, remember that you are a guest in their home (country), never let them know how good you have it at back home. Appreciate their generosity and kindness. And always say 'Thank you!'." This served me well over the years and continues today.

In relationships I had to love and honor the wonderful women that I had fortunate blessing to love and grow with. Here too - I, we, always have choices to be in the relationship or leave the relationship. It didn't matter who put up the mantle of in or out - we both new that relationship had outlived its usefulness for both of us.

Today I honor all my relationships - old lingering ones that I constantly count on and new exciting ones that I have yet to enter. Even these have ol' Hobson hovering around and I have choices to make - all or nothing. I have softened in my years. I believe that friendships twist and turn, grow and strain - and continue with acceptance of time honored love for my friends.

In dealing with kids - who are now adults - I have learned to treat them as friends. We too have our ups and downs, agreements and confusing growth periods - and, I am happy to say ol' Hobson never comes between my love for them. Love and forgiveness go hand and hand with our kids - no matter how old they are. 

As we enter our later years we become quite close to ol' Hobson. In one area especially - Health. Unfortunately, this is usually coupled by insurance attorneys, accountants and lobbyests back is the lovable hamlet of Washington.... Have you watched the news lately.

Ol' Hobson was just trying to get all of his horses out of his stable. 

Your Life - Your Rules!

Namaste Speedo