Personal Assassination

I have been writing screenplays for over 20 years - 8 in all. With each one that I start developing - I am always fighting an internal assassin chasing me away from my computer. It tells me that I do not know how to write. It shouts in my ear that this is another dumb idea. It demeans me. It's critical. It's . . . . . an assassin!

My assassin has not only been present at my writing . . . but everything that I try to accomplish in life.

Relationships. Businesses. Opportunities. Employment. Vacations. Dreams. Goals. Do you know what I mean?

Where in the heck did this assassin come from? Who's paying him to track me down and cause havoc in my life?

When I look in the mirror I see the villain starring back at me.

Growing up - my memories are all positive. My parents told me that I could do anything that I set my mind to. They never told my that I was crazy, stupid, lazy, an idiot or anything negative. I got encouragement. I did get chastised now and them about being an underachiever from teachers and others - but not my parents.

So I have to believe that I created my assassin myself. Why? How did I think I needed someone to stop me from going after my dreams. Fear. Fear of success is the greatest fear that I have to walk through everyday.

Now with my writing I have learned to look him in the eye and tell him "not today. Go away.", and I type "FADE IN" and continue typing until I come to "THE END". What I have learned throughout the years is creativity is 20% and rewriting, structuring, plotting, setting up/paying off, etc. is the work and sweat that most people never see - and it's the 80%.

And when I talk to people who have remained married for 20+ years, they tell my the same thing. Everyday they show up and realize how lucky (hard work) to have their spouse in their life. They work at it everyday with determination and love. They tell their marriage assassin "Not today!" and say "yes dear."

When I talk to people about their businesses they tell me the same thing. Starting a business is easy - you just do it. Chase your dream. Now sustaining the business and making it a success is the 80%. It's showing up everyday, looking the assassin right in the eye and telling him/her "not today!".

That's the only way I know how to win over the "Doubting Thomas'" and "Nay Sayer's" that think that they are doing me a favor by pointing out the difficult road that lays ahead of me.

Yet when I succeed - they are the first to tell me how lucky am, how talented I am, how they knew I could do it. Hmmmm!

Your Life - Your Rules!
Namste Speedo